Saturday, January 19, 2013

Delusional Much

"To my Manti Te'os: 

Many of you THINK you have some dynamic going on with me. 
A heads' up: you have got NOTHING going on with me.

Comments typed in cyberspace usually are typed with invisible ink." 

Dick Tracys

"Cyber dicks are so excited when they discover my real name. 
They act as if they found out what happened to 
D.B. Cooper, Judge Crater, Jimmy Hoffa or 
located the second shooter at the grassy knoll.

I had no idea I was so noteworthy." 

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

My Fan Base

"Lady Gaga has her little monsters and 
I have my dumb schmucks."

Mind Bending

"A chat member gleefully exclaimed he won and I lost."
"I asked him exactly what he won and what precisely did I lose."

"I then proceeded to explain to him that his cyber 'war' 
exists only in his imagination and is fueled only within his own mind."

"He truly is the quintessential Don Quixote 
but he failed to find his Enchanter."

"I am sure he awakened the next day with the same 
unresolved anger and will tirelessly wait for me to return 
so he can once again displace his anger and 
relentlessly transfer his issues onto me."

"I recommend a hyperbaric chamber and 
epson salts...  for his fingers."

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Misery Loves Company

"When a chatter laughs with satiated glee over 
some lunatic's vitriolic comments, I think: 
misery loves company and they both deserve each other

Their liaison is for both of them a fitting consequence."

Hoisted By Their Own Petards

"Back to you, and double it." 

A Word About Sidekicks

"Cyber Sidekicks live vicariously through 
the cowardly vile taunts of the freaks and losers on the internet."

"They laugh and are gleeful when they can read crap directed to others
 because it makes them feel better about themselves. 
No self actualized non jealous person engages in such idiotic activity." 

"They are Sidekicks who create "social" dynamics in font 
with total strangers on the internet with whom 
they have never verbally interacted 
and who they will never in life meet."

"Sancho Panza much?"

Lashon Hara and Tzedakah

"It appears that relentless chatters' goals are to 
try to annoy and bother and antagonize me."

"They study my bio and memorize the details 
and gather information which they believe 
provides taunt worthy material."

"A favorite sociopathic canard is that I have no family and am alone. 
Apparently, they are not alone and do have family.
 Yet, they prefer to take precious time away from their 
charming loved ones to try to annoy me?
Who is the sad and pathetic one in these cyber dynamics?
They are so bored they have to day after day type 
comments like redundant energizer bunnies
that would be rejected by The Gong Show."

"I am flattered I am so time and eyeball worthy.
 I enable these Don Quixotes and make their 
weird agendas a tax deduction for my charity work."

"Their lashon hara becomes my mandated tzedakah!"

My Shield of Gardol

"Not one thing posted about me on the internet impacts me. 
I always come to my computer wearing my Shield of Gardol."

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Going for the Jugular

"The angry arrive in droves and craft
vile and crass taunts in 
attempts to annoy and chagrin.
It all washes over me without one drop touching me."

"In life one has to value those who are verbally attempting 
to hurt before one can be impacted by the assaults." 

"Total strangers are who I never met and who 
I will never meet  are nothing more than Don Quixotes in my world."

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Eyeball Worthy

"Viewers tell me I am visually unappealing and then 
use strong words to attempt to insult my appearance."

"This gives me great pause for thought.
I am flattered by the droll attention. However... 
Do they not have anybody in their real lives upon whom 
to gaze whose pulchritude is more eye ball worthy?" 

"They must be masochistic gluttons for punishment."