Thursday, November 29, 2012

Long Winded

on cyber roasts: 

"I do not understand how people can spend so much of their time on a computer engaging in what I consider to be nonproductive low level nonsense. When I was younger, I would not have spent two minutes of my time in childish behavior that was so moronic, foolish, juvenile, and imbecilic. It is so non proactive. Where in life does that get you?"

"Do ridiculous and ludicrous insults bother me? No. I know who I am and I have excellent self-esteem. But regardless... when chatters attempt to ridicule me it speaks volumes about the respect they have for me and the trust I have going forward for them. I do not want to be in rooms where that goes on because I personally do not enjoy it on any level. I do not enjoy sites where all day the members try to harass people in babyish ways. I do not find it amusing or entertaining. People need to respect boundaries and not cross lines and follow polite protocol. Nobody I know in my life interacts in puerile ways. We are supportive of each other." 

"Am I mad? No. I understand this goes on all over the internet but I choose to remove that activity from impacting my purview and I do not enable people who engage in that activity because I don't want to see it or be part of it. Do those decisions to distance people who have tried over and over to annoy me make me 'mentally disturbed?' No... I think my decisions make me 'smart.'

"Seriously, are these 12 year olds? I am supposed to relate on what level to idiotic cyber sophomoric nonsense? I spent my time when I was their age studying for two Masters degrees during a teaching career..."

"Blah blah blah and shma shma shma...."

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Classics from the Ages

"Is that line supposed to bother me? 
OK, I shall enable and validate you: Ouch."

"I am digging that TYPED line but YOU can talk to the hand." 

"I love those insults because I thrive on self-effacing humor."

"My teeth are yellow? OK.
They are like a sublime vision of hot butter on cold snow." 

Something to Talk About

"They say I am a self-involved egocentric mental case. 
Yippee! I must have reached entelechy!"

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Disarming Juvenile Moronic Provocations

"I was told I am quite old, severely ugly, and horrifically boring... 
within a quotidian and litany of other droll affronts 
that were intended to go for the jugular and cause great anguish."

"I replied: Tell me something I DON'T know.
I do not suffer fools or enable imbecilic drivel."

Chasing Highbrow

"I try to engage in a conversation that reflects a 
sophisticated dynamic of verbosity. 
I receive replies that appear to be sophomoric driven. 

The dynamic is so disappointing."

Slow on the Uptake

"On January 4th 2010, I told a chatter I was not interested 
in hearing I have yellow teeth and am ugly and old." 

"On November 23rd 2012, the cyber energizer bunny typed 
I have yellow teeth and am ugly and old."

 "He is a bit slow on the uptake."

Friday, November 23, 2012

The Work Out

"I never do the treadmill, the only exercise I ever 
do is lifting a fork to my mouth." 

© 2012 marjorie-cartoons

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Mellow Yellow

"I code switched my appearance and morphed my surroundings 
to validate and match the perception that my teeth are yellow. 
If I was told they were blue, I would be in big trouble. 

My blue crayons disappeared."

Undescended Brains

"A chatter tried to insult me and go for the jugular 
by referencing my age and all common maladies 
generally connected to growing old." 

"I conclude he is apparently rather young 
with transparent social anxieties, 
nothing more productive or better to do, 
and engaging in exceedingly moronic activity... 

so who is the pathetic persona in his life equations?"

Don Quixotes

"A chat room imbecile keeps typing foolish redundant crap 
in great attempts to try to annoy and insult total strangers, 
and the object of his nonsense is sitting there 

cool as a cucumber and thinking: 
blow that horse *manure* out of your arse."

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Theater of the Absurd

"In chat rooms, angry morons type dopey charientisms 
with harsh intent to people they have never even met. 
They believe their nonsense has impact 
because they have delusions of adequacy." 

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Heuristic Discoveries

"People are so overwhelmingly and deliriously excited 
when they discover information about me.
They lick their chops to the point where 
you would think they learned the true identity, 
address, and telephone number of D.B. Cooper." 

"Go figure."

Covering All Bases

"I practice all religions because I believe 
in covering all of my bases."

Do Not Suffer Fools Gladly

"I do not suffer fools gladly.
I turn a deaf ear and a blind eye to the inane dopey drivel 
of morons that is designed to shock and chagrin."  

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Call Me Maybe

"One fan is so obsessed he has my digits on auto speed dial. 
I should use call forwarding and send those calls 
to rehab so he can break his addiction to me."

Swimming With Amphibians

"I would reply... but can you teach a goldfish that 1 + 1 = 2?"

Two for the Price of One

"With regard to modern art, 
I am a quick study."

Internet in the Park

"Ah, the joys of a crowded city park experience."

Making Shidduchs

"I love love love how so many people have bonded on the internet 
in a common purpose to talk about me. 
I am trending in cyberspace? 
Color me popular."

An Homage to Picasso

"I am feeling quite angular and colorful.
And very dizzy.
Pass the dramamine, please."

Monday, November 12, 2012

Photo Ops

"Here I am in jail!
I was arrested for bad art which detached retinas 
and is considered visual assault. 
Call me maybe?"

Never Running On Empty

"I was arrested today... because these cartoons are very bad art. 
 A viewer detached a retina and I was booked for visual assault."

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Toxic Views

Confucius said: 
"Those who do not develop lives of their own are doomed to 
sweat the lives of others."   

marjorie said: 
"Those who sweat the lives of others need to 
get over it in a hyperbaric chamber in rehab."

A Kook Watch

"Yow! Yikes!
Your obsessed fans have discovered your real name!"

"Is that like discovering the identity of the 
second shooter at the grassy knoll?"

Saturday Night Activity

a poll: 
Saturday night activity choices: 
1. go to a movie = 3 votes 
2. go to the theater = 1 vote 
3. dine out with friends = 2 votes 
4. go to a club and dance = 2 votes 
5. turn on the computer and type about marjorie all night = 28 votes 

"Wow! I won the activity poll! I am WINNING!"

Saturday, November 10, 2012


"A computer levels a playing field and allows those with whom 
you would never cross paths and who do not respect boundaries 
to try to be invasive in your world. 
Put up walls so your personal visual space is protected. 
Become a gongoozler."

The Cure: Mittens

"However, mittens do not help with unresolved angers.
Maybe a regressive visit to a playpen or a  
a high school 'do over' might work."

The Chat Matrix

"Bingo and ditto!"

Typing Fights

"The downside is carpal tunnel syndrome."

Friday, November 9, 2012

Go Know

"Take a bow kiddo, you impact your 
naysayers like the asteroid Vesta."

"And here I thought I was just a mere tachyon."

Doing an ET

"We know and will post your address and telephone number!" 

"Well, if I ever get lost all I have to do is log on in a 
cyber cafe and find my way directly home."

Working Capital

"You never have more than 2 viewers watching your show!"

"That's 2 more than I ever expected to have! 
I consider myself to have great net asset! 
My show might qualify for an initial public offering!"

The Reviews Are In?

"Your cartoons are awful; 
you draw worse than a 4 year old!"

"Pipe down! My Aunt Sadie said these cartoons are 
quite Thurberesque and as 
imaginative as Basquiats; 
they are pieces of pop art as creative 
as those of Keith Haring."

Below Critical Mass

Q: How do you keep morons from trying to impact 
and invade your personal space? 

A: You wear the Shield of Gardol and keep back 200 feet!

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Thwarting Juvenile Moronic Provocations

"I see you are the object of comments that are intended to be quite 
vitriolic and vituperative, and they are designed to 
vilify in great attempts to go for the jugular."

"Well, the sophomoric and puerile bon mots are not exactly posted 
by a peer group I respect who are members of 
Mensa and graduated from Harvard... 
It's not exactly my intellectual demographic
so a bit of perspective renders it all invisible 
in total zip impact and irrelevance." 

the fourth wall:
"Uh, not for nothing but how pathetic are their lives if that is 
how they spend any part of their day?
I would rather watch paint dry than participate in such stupidity."

"It is a totally abject sociopathic moron who spends time 
engaging in that activity anyway."