Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The Reaction to "Hilarious"

"If a comment is posted that is hilarious,
copious group laughter will abound and
soda will auto-pour out of the noses of the internet audience.
It's a sort of de rigueur response if you are a member of
the club of snarkmeisters."

"Some other auto-replies are:
win, fail, amazing and...
filled with so many parts of awesome."

Sunday, August 29, 2010

"Batshit" crazy?

On Twitter, I was called 'batshit!'
Heh! Heh! Batshit?
Bite me, bitches!

Now a poem, just for my fans who sweat me:

Roses are red and violets are blue,
I am 'batshit?'
Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo!
There is NO PART of 'batshit'
that I won't own and make a perfect fit!
I am delighted and happy to stand with other nuts
And all the sarcastic and angry fabisinas can kiss our fat butts!"

Shades of Gray

"I am so tired of online analysts.
They throw around the word 'crazy' a lot.
And what's wrong with 'crazy?'

All the greatest films and books are about crazy people!
These yentas should get jobs administering
cyber Thematic Apperception Tests."

Friday, August 27, 2010

Chat Imitates Museum Visits

© Marjorie Levine 2010

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Sore Loser

"I have entered 112 online writing contests, and I never win!
My last entry was phenomenal, and I still did not win.
The judges must hate me.

I cannot imagine why.
Everybody else thinks I am charming, filled with humor, and
I have a marvelous sense of joie de vivre.
And my entries are always quite good...
I am sad today."

Saturday, August 21, 2010

A Solution

This is my perfect solution for comments designed to chagrin.

Wicked Impersonations

There's another "Marjorie" on the 'net
posting comments on the same blogs!

The internet sure attracts kooks who
sweat me and love to gas my head!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Personality DNA in Cartoons

"I got everything I needed to know about you from your cartoons."

Did you learn about Charles M. Schulz from "Peanuts," too?
Maybe you learned about Walt Kelly from reading "Pogo?"
Or about John Wagner from "Maxine?"
What a kook!"

Friday, August 13, 2010

A Kathy Griffin morph

"OMG, I morphed into the amazing Kathy Griffin
and I can hear her now:
I am on the 'marjorie' blog? D list!!"

An Homage to Harper

"Let's you and me get acquainted. Go sit down in that chair.
Have a bon bon. Just remember, I'm the boss here.
And keep your chat files active. You'll be back."

Friday, August 6, 2010

Death Wishes

"marjorie, you are sad and crazy and more than a little scary.
But, don't worry guys. She will eventually either move on or die."

"Yow, and oh my! I have to die to stop impacting
your precious online chat experience?"