Monday, December 30, 2013

The Town Crier

"I know when your birthday is. 
I have been gathering information about you for two years." 

"Go figure. 
Who knew I was so research worthy?" 

Friday, November 29, 2013

Game Strategy

"The first time I encountered serious "game" was in 1981. 
 I almost went down. 
But, I got up and honed my SKILLS like a ninja. 
 I played that game like ROCKY. 
 I jabbed and grabbed, I did Haymakers and Bolo punches. 
 But it was my Dempsey Roll that almost took him down. 
 I pulled out of that game and moved on... and my opponent? 
 He died. Literally. 
 In retrospect, I think I was too much of a mental challenge."

Friday, November 8, 2013

Stolen Identities

"I ran into my friend Nate last night and thought he was Al. 
He pretended TO BE AL. 
Then, he got off the train and I realized he was Nate. 
 Isn't Nate and Al a famous deli in LA? 
 Nate and Al really could be twins separated at birth. 
One is a retired teacher and the other is a comic! 
 Maybe they are imagined parts of me?"

Monday, November 4, 2013

Ass Backwards

"When a viewer declares I am obsessed with somebody, 
I can rationally conclude that viewer is so not playing with a full deck.

The named object of the obsession = dumb
The one who thinks I am obsessed = dumber

I am all self involved and the only person I am obsessed with... is me."

Monday, October 14, 2013

The Glory of Fame

"Viewers can type the worst things about me. 
The most awful comments serve to help me find my smile. 
At last, fame in all it's sweet decadence!"

Friday, September 27, 2013

The Toast of The Town

marjorie is trending and becoming very buzz worthy! 

marjorie is newsworthy! 
marjorie records CNN news and her fans record HER shows! 
 Her RERUNS are played more than 
The Honeymooners and I Love Lucy! 

marjorie's show is even SIMULCAST! 

marjorie is famous and she is THE TOAST OF THE TOWN

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Call Me the Name, I Play the Game


stalking the mean streets

and caught!

"Internet dudes have labeled marjorie THE STALKER.
And just like Clark Kent who becomes Superman
marjorie morphed into THE STALKER OF CHELSEA!"

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Carte Blanche

"I decided to reward a very loyal viewer with...
 the golden status and power of chat room carte blanche!"

The Blabbermouth

"If everything is repeat worthy to a blabbermouth,
it's a good head's up to not voluntarily share zip.

Whatever you share might end up 
on the public telephone wall." 

Misery Loves Company

"When a group gathers like a cult to celebrate in totally 
asinine and similar ways endless low level entertainment 
because they have nothing else to do, 
they all deserve each other."

Psychological Spins

"I kindly suggested some NYC sightseeing attractions... 
and days later in another show the discussion agenda was
the tired and old spin: marjorie, "The Stalker."

In a venue that thrives on low level entertainment 
and projection, "The Stalker" was quite the topic du jour.

Anonymous cyber peeps are stalk-worthy?
No, but the marjorie-cartoons are 
eyeball stalk worthy and... peek a boo, I see YOU!"

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Lessons in Self-Esteem

"I can walk around thinking I am the 'cat's meow'
when other's may think I am ineffable."

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Mixed Messages

viewer #1
on a Wednesday she says to a broadcaster:
"Kick marjorie out of here, it is long overdue."
six days later she advises marjorie:
"I think you should make up with that broadcaster because 
the two of you could be good friends."

viewer #2
Monday, she is very angry and confrontational with marjorie
"Bring it on bitch!"
four days later she says, with great admiration
"The person I would most like to meet is marjorie."

Status Symbols

"There is much sophomoric carrying on 
over "ops" or "mods" in broadcasters' channels. 
Are "mods" some internet brass ring 
or sort of like owning a Honus Wagner?"

The Rebuke

"I extended an olive branch to a hater and 
suggested we become friends.
Her reply was that it would be a 'disaster.'

Then, I suggested that when 
she visit NYC she see a Broadway show.
To that idea she replied: 'It's not my bag.'

Yikes, she was right!
A friendship with her would have been a disaster!"

The In Crowd

"Everybody hates marjorie"

"Exactly who are these viewers who hate me?
They spend hours passing numbers to that broadcaster 
so he can make childish and dopey prank calls.

That is not exactly the demographic to which
 I aspire to be accepted and loved."

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Verbal Tricks in a Backwards World

"When harassment is manifested in dozens of clear ways 
and marjorie replies with her special brand 
of humorous performance art, 
harassers will  flip the ratio 
and call marjorie obsessed. 
Sociopaths lack cognitive skills and the sequence gene."

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Mass Confusion

"Obsessed fans often have bizarre twisted thoughts
and they grab onto minutiae so they can believe that 
superstars are obsessed with them!"

"They create a delusional and emotional dynamic
within demented relationship fantasies
and then engage in extreme Freudian projection."

"These starstruck fans lose sight of the fact 
that they are totally unknown nobodies in marjorie's life.
They are pathetically, classically, and weirdly
confused in their own very backwards upside down world."

Internet Caspers With Weird Takes

"Another Casper surfaces to inanely call me what
she believes to be my strongest Achilles heel:
And she claims I am obsessed with her!"

I am at a huge loss to understand how one could
possibly be obsessed with a totally unknown entity!

It is during these times that I understand
what Freud meant when he
coined the term: projection."

Performing Exorcisms

"I perform exorcisms on wannabes 
 and beat them back with such a strong halitosis 
 that they melt into puddles of slime."

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

They Are Waiting

"I strut stuff as I walk around NYC... 
smug knowing the dopey weak minded keyboard warriors 
are sitting like vultures waiting for my return."

Sunday, August 18, 2013

All Systems Ready

"I arrive at my computer ready to push 
the necessary buttons to enable weak minds. 
Call me a 'nut?' I type: activate the nut gene."

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Cyber Interactive Nintendo

"The wannabes on the internet who engage me are 
constantly hoisted by their own petards in classic backfires. 
 A brass ring is not even the prize 
in a dynamic of conflict 
that exists only in their own minds."

"I activate auto comebacks...
and render their nonsense 
a form of interactive Nintendo."

Wednesday, August 14, 2013


"I am Cyber Granny Kick Ass
All those online who engage me limp away defeated 
and they collapse back into their weak minds!!"

Unruffled Feathers

"I am a 66 year old woman who evokes very very strong reactions. 
I'm the antithesis of the invisible woman. 
The butt hurt play "gotcha"... and I laugh and pass go."

Friday, August 9, 2013

Peer Groups

"I have two Masters degrees and spend my time visiting museums. 
When the level of intelligence in a paradigm drops too low, 
I exit the scene."

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Star Power

"I am self-involved and self-actualized. 
I would never create a name to reference anybody else. 
My internet experience isn't a cameo appearance."

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

A Small Montage

© 2010 Marjorie Levine

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Consider the Source

"I am often asked why not one insult 
typed about me bothers me."

"My reply always is: 
I consider the source."

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Discovering Details

"When my fans discover my address and telephone number 
they feel like I did when I drove down Mulholland Drive
and found the home of Marlon Brando."  

The Defeated

"The Don Quixotes try hard to get me to cry ouch.
But instead, I always get them to say uncle."

On a First Name Basis

"When my fans call me "marjorie" they are as excited 
as I was when I got Frankie Avalon's autograph. 
It is like Uncle Jun meeting Angie Dickinson."

The Scientific Approach

"I render all the naysayers, harassers, and killjoys invisible. 
 Nobody comes between me and my high pedestal."

Monday, July 8, 2013

Wishing and Hoping

"A viewer keeps posting crass wishes for me to die!
His daily ongoing idiotic low level activity convinces me 
he is part of 'The Walking Deadand I have rachamnus!"

Sunday, July 7, 2013

The Glutton for Punishment

"I come in here to laugh at marjorie's old hag ugly face."

"Why not go rent a comedy on Netflix? 
Are you some sort of masochist?" 

The Gongoozler's Dance

"Some viewers try so pathetically hard to be shockingly annoying. 
They are redundant energizer bunnies with zip impact."

"I read their droll nonsense and become a gongoozler."

Thursday, July 4, 2013

The Starving Artist

a sarcastic viewer
"marjorie is starved for attention."

marjorie asks a question
"Why would a person not applaud 
the endeavors in which 
I show my creative sides?"

a supportive viewer replies
"Imaginative minds understand marjorie is 
starved for outlets for her amazing talents!
That angry viewer must be a real bore who  
is fueled by transparent jealousy."

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Low Level Entertainment

"marjorie, come watch this show. 
The broadcaster is doing epic prank calls..."

"Darling I don't enjoy viewing that 
type of juvenile low level entertainment...
I have HBO."