Star Power

"I am self-involved and self-actualized. 

I would never create a name to reference anybody else. 

My internet experience isn't a cameo appearance."

A Small Montage

© 2010 Marjorie Levine

Consider the Source

"I am often asked why not one insult 

typed about me bothers me."

"My reply always is: 

I consider the source."

Discovering Details

"When my fans discover my address and telephone number 

they feel like I did when I drove down Mulholland Drive

and found the home of Marlon Brando."  

The Defeated

"The Don Quixotes try hard to get me to cry ouch.

But instead, I always get them to say uncle."

On a First Name Basis

"When my fans call me "marjorie" they are as excited 

as I was when I got Frankie Avalon's autograph. 

It is like Uncle Jun meeting Angie Dickinson."

The Scientific Approach

"I render all the naysayers, harassers, and killjoys invisible. 

 Nobody comes between me and my high pedestal."

Wishing and Hoping

"A viewer keeps posting crass wishes for me to die!

His daily ongoing idiotic low level activity convinces me 
he is part of 'The Walking Dead' and I have rachamnus!"

The Glutton for Punishment

viewer
"I come in here to laugh at marjorie's old hag ugly face."

marjorie

"Why not go rent a comedy on Netflix? 

Are you some sort of masochist?" 

The Gongoozler's Dance

"Some viewers try so pathetically hard to be shockingly annoying. 

They are redundant energizer bunnies with zip impact."

"I read their droll nonsense and become a gongoozler."

The Starving Artist

a sarcastic viewer

"marjorie is starved for attention."

marjorie asks a question

"Why would a person not applaud 

the endeavors in which 

I show my creative sides?"

a supportive viewer replies

"Imaginative minds understand marjorie is 

starved for outlets for her amazing talents!

That angry viewer must be a real bore who  
is fueled by transparent jealousy."

Low Level Entertainment

viewer

"marjorie, come watch this show. 

The broadcaster is doing epic prank calls..."

marjorie 

"Darling I don't enjoy viewing that 
type of juvenile low level entertainment...

I have HBO."

History Repeats Itself

Fanny Brice
"In show business, 
I am a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls."

marjorie
"Me too!
I cannot be a lemming and enjoy 
internet low level entertainment!

And it is difficult to blow smoke up a Walter Mitty's ass 

or join minions who dress broadcasters 
in the Emperor's new clothes."

Vanishing Acts

broadcaster

"marjorie is gone, she quit this show."

viewer

"yay!"

marjorie

"Go know, I have such impact?

If that weak mind simply used the 

ignore feature, I would have disappeared 

from her field of view..."

Banned from a Show

broadcaster

"Everyone hates marjorie and 
I am going to ban her from this show."

marjorie

"Yawn. Snore. 

This impacts my life?

Now back to Swann's Way."

Self-Empowerment

chatter

"I don't want marjorie banned, I just wish she would go away."

marjorie

"Head's up! You can make anybody 'go away' by activating 

the ignore feature or by doing selective reading. 

I must be 'larger than life' to have such a strong impact 

on the chat experience of a person who 

I don't even know is alive 

and who has zero impact in MY life." 

A Little Noshery

"How do I enjoy low level 

entertainment on the internet? 

I watch while eating a bagel mit schmear."

Communication Problems

viewer

"I have more 411 on you than you could ever have on me.

Now who has been pwned?"

marjorie
"I am flattered you want the '411' on me. 

I must be some important star in your dopey universe. 

Head's up: I desire no information regarding YOU!"

"And the day the word 'pwned' becomes part of my 

daily vocabulary will be the day I call Kevorkian." 

Invested In My Demise

viewers

1. "Die in your sleep."

2. "See you in hell."

3. "RIP"

4. "Good news. marjorie died."

And the Oscar goes to:

5. "You (will) wither and die alone in your NYC apartment 
where you won't be found until the smell and bedbugs 
overwhelm the apartment complex. 
Your tombstone will read:  who the f*ck was marjorie?"

marjorie
"Yikes and yow! 
They all seem a bit over invested in me.
My death impacts those fools in what way?
You would think they are included in my will."

"News flash:
No beneficiary documents for any of YOU!"

Diminished Status

"I would never create a chat name that 

referenced anybody else in any way.

I am self-involved and it's all about me. 

I am not a wannabe and
I do not give myself diminished status." 

The Invisibles

"Viewers and fans enter chat rooms with 

my name and sit there believing I am daunted."

"They apparently are not involved in their own 

personal identity and have no accomplishments 

that are worthy of self-promotion.

They are the ghosts of society who 

thrive on the lives of others.

"They certainly give me and all my alter egos free publicity."

Channeling Luke

viewer

"You are an old hag."

marjorie

"Blow it out of your toches."

20/20 Vision

viewer

"Hi, Baby Jane."

marjorie

"Baby Jane? Get lasik."

Interested Parties

obsessed viewer 

"How come I know everything about you 
and you know nothing about me?" 

marjorie 

"Simple answer. YOU ARE AN INVISIBLE NOBODY. 

5S? Tell me something I DON'T know! 

I am flattered you show interest in me."

Winning What

"As I exited a chat room, a warrior declared she 'won.'

I asked:

What exactly did you win...

a PhD?"

The Old Hag Charientism

"In great efforts to try to insult me, 
online warriors call me an 'old hag.'

In many instances I am 30 years or more older than 

those who reference me in those terms. 

And they are the ones who look like 'hags.'

It certainly gives pause for thought. 

When they are my age, they will look like... Medusa."

Online Thematic Apperception Tests

this is a piece from an E-mail:

"marjorie, you are a mean woman. 

You are a mean, hateful woman. 

You are an angry, bitter mean woman. 

What was the point in time when you just snapped 

and became this angry, spiteful, mean woman?"

marjorie

"I never even met the person who wrote that!

She appears a bit over invested in an analysis of me.

Just yesterday, I was told I am so 

cheerful and happy and filled with a great spirit of fun.

Online interactions trigger 

multiple personality syndrome I suppose." 

Well Defined Demographics

"I do not tonse with a demographic that thrives 

on discussing the activity of 'trolls' all day.

I would rather discuss the work 

of Proust and the intoxicating madeleine."

Lingo Du Jour

"awesome. epic.  fail. amazing. pwned"

"Huh?" At the risk of appearing opprobrious... 

let me say that I will never use those words in a sentence. 

They are the vocabulary of unimaginative lemmings.

and words that fuel dopey activity."  

False Distortions for Personal Agendas

viewer 

 "(You sit there) on your make believe pedestal you crafted out of the 

tears of the school children's spirits you undoubtably crushed."

marjorie

"Say wha? Where did you get that absurd bubba meinsa from? 

People will make up absolutely anything in 
angry attacks to try to rile and get a sense of satisfaction."

Turnarounds in Comebacks

marjorie

"On Easter Sunday, I had dinner with family 
at an elegant restaurant."

viewer

"Did you ask for separate checks?"

Epitaphs

a paragraph from an E-mail sent by a viewer

"Let the anger and hate and loneliness go before you 

wither and die alone in your NYC apartment 

where you won't be found until the smell and bedbugs 

overwhelm the apartment complex. 

Your tombstone will read: "who the f*ck was marjorie..." 

marjorie replies 

 "And your tombstone will read: 

 Known for sending ridiculous and overly emotional angry 

E-mails with preposterous conclusions made out of whole cloth 

to people on the internet she never even met."

In 24 Hour Windows

viewer

"marjorie... you are bitter, lonely, angry, and hateful."

marjorie

"Just yesterday... you were telling me how 

much alike we both are!" 

Not Getting It

"My broadcast was terminated 3 times 

in one day for 'inactivity!!'

Hello? It's a show about nothing!

What am I supposed to be doing?"

Putting Me in Equation Conundrums

viewer sends an e-mail:

"You want nothing to do with me? 
You can't handle me, honey. 
You can't handle the power of my awesome."

marjorie:
"What's to handle?
Go be 'awesome.'
Be awesome to the tenth power.
Excellent! Kudos! 
What does your 'awesome' have to do with me?
I never even met you."

Free Will

Viewer

"I would rather be waterboarded than to have to 
listen to marjorie's voice during her broadcast."

marjorie

"So who forces you to constantly enter and 
keep watching the show, meshugennah?
You must be a masochistic glutton for punishment."

Choice Comments from An Online Stranger

Stranger

"(You will) die alone in your NYC apartment 

where you won't be found until the smell and bedbugs 

 overwhelm the apartment complex. 

 Your tombstone will read: who the f*ck was marjorie...'" 

  marjorie 

"Yikes! Bedbugs! Huh?"

I need to be on a constant online kook watch!"

"I am a bon vivant and I have a great joie de vivre! 

I hope that writer's personality profile of me is not included 

in her applications to administer 

cyber Thematic Apperception Tests!"

"Anger management much?"

Trumped

"A chatter called me a 'crow!'

If I am a 'crow' she has to be 

the crow's  ugly stepsister."

Low Level Thinkers in Low Level Entertainment

viewers

"marjorie is a stupid person

marjorie is boring

marjorie is a pathetic liar

marjorie is a troll

marjorie is a c**t

marjorie is f**ked in the head."

marjorie

"waaaaaa, nobody likes me here.

I am packing up my toys and going elsewhere."

Sitting Shiva

"I will be sitting shiva for BlogTV.

You were loved very much...

RIP dear website.

The end: 3/27/2013."

Kick Permissions

viewer to broadcaster

"Can I kick marjorie on your last show?"

marjorie

"Why wait until the last show, darling? 

If that is all it takes to excite you and 

help you find your smile, 

kick away! Kick me all day. I aim to please." 

"When I give kick permission to a sad soul...
I am doing a mitzvah and 
Aren't I one.guta.neshuma?"