The Town Crier

viewer

"I know when your birthday is. 

I have been gathering information about you for two years." 

marjorie

"Go figure. 

Who knew I was so research worthy?" 

Game Strategy

"The first time I encountered serious "game" was in 1981. 

 I almost went down. 

But, I got up and honed my SKILLS like a ninja. 

 I played that game like ROCKY. 

 I jabbed and grabbed, I did Haymakers and Bolo punches. 

 But it was my Dempsey Roll that almost took him down. 

 I pulled out of that game and moved on... and my opponent? 

 He died. Literally. 

 In retrospect, I think I was too much of a mental challenge."

Stolen Identities

"I ran into my friend Nate last night and thought he was Al. 

He pretended TO BE AL. 

Then, he got off the train and I realized he was Nate. 

 Isn't Nate and Al a famous deli in LA? 

 Nate and Al really could be twins separated at birth. 

One is a retired teacher and the other is a comic! 

 Maybe they are imagined parts of me?"

Ass Backwards

"When a viewer declares I am obsessed with somebody, 

I can rationally conclude that viewer is so not playing with a full deck.

The named object of the obsession = dumb

The one who thinks I am obsessed = dumber

I am all self involved and the only person I am obsessed with... is me."

The Glory of Fame

"Viewers can type the worst things about me. 

The most awful comments serve to help me find my smile. 

At last, fame in all it's sweet decadence!"

The Toast of The Town

marjorie is trending and becoming very buzz worthy! 

marjorie is newsworthy! 

marjorie records CNN news and her fans record HER shows! 

 Her RERUNS are played more than 

The Honeymooners and I Love Lucy! 

marjorie's show is even SIMULCAST! 

marjorie is famous and she is THE TOAST OF THE TOWN! 

Call Me the Name, I Play the Game

wanted!

stalking the mean streets

and caught!

"Internet dudes have labeled marjorie THE STALKER.

And just like Clark Kent who becomes Superman

marjorie morphed into THE STALKER OF CHELSEA!"

Carte Blanche

"I decided to reward a very loyal viewer with...

 the golden status and power of chat room carte blanche!"

The Blabbermouth

"If everything is repeat worthy to a blabbermouth,

it's a good head's up to not voluntarily share zip.

Whatever you share might end up 
on the public telephone wall." 

Misery Loves Company

"When a group gathers like a cult to celebrate in totally 

asinine and similar ways endless low level entertainment 

because they have nothing else to do, 

they all deserve each other."

Psychological Spins

"I kindly suggested some NYC sightseeing attractions... 

and days later in another show the discussion agenda was

the tired and old spin: marjorie, "The Stalker."

In a venue that thrives on low level entertainment 
and projection, "The Stalker" was quite the topic du jour.

Anonymous cyber peeps are stalk-worthy?

No, but the marjorie-cartoons are 

eyeball stalk worthy and... peek a boo, I see YOU!"

Lessons in Self-Esteem

"I can walk around thinking I am the 'cat's meow'

when other's may think I am ineffable."

Mixed Messages

viewer #1

on a Wednesday she says to a broadcaster:

"Kick marjorie out of here, it is long overdue."

six days later she advises marjorie:

"I think you should make up with that broadcaster because 

the two of you could be good friends."

viewer #2

Monday, she is very angry and confrontational with marjorie

"Bring it on bitch!"

four days later she says, with great admiration

"The person I would most like to meet is marjorie."

Status Symbols

"There is much sophomoric carrying on 

over "ops" or "mods" in broadcasters' channels. 

Are "mods" some internet brass ring 

or sort of like owning a Honus Wagner?"

The Rebuke

"I extended an olive branch to a hater and 

suggested we become friends.

Her reply was that it would be a 'disaster.'

Then, I suggested that when 

she visit NYC she see a Broadway show.

To that idea she replied: 'It's not my bag.'

Yikes, she was right!

A friendship with her would have been a disaster!"

The In Crowd

broadcaster

"Everybody hates marjorie"

marjorie

"Exactly who are these viewers who hate me?

They spend hours passing numbers to that broadcaster 

so he can make childish and dopey prank calls.

That is not exactly the demographic to which

 I aspire to be accepted and loved."

Verbal Tricks in a Backwards World

"When harassment is manifested in dozens of clear ways 

and marjorie replies with her special brand 

of humorous performance art, 

harassers will  flip the ratio 

and call marjorie obsessed. 

Sociopaths lack cognitive skills and the sequence gene."

Mass Confusion

"Obsessed fans often have bizarre twisted thoughts

and they grab onto minutiae so they can believe that 

superstars are obsessed with them!"

"They create a delusional and emotional dynamic
within demented relationship fantasies
and then engage in extreme Freudian projection."

"These starstruck fans lose sight of the fact 

that they are totally unknown nobodies in marjorie's life.
They are pathetically, classically, and weirdly
confused in their own very backwards upside down world."

Internet Caspers With Weird Takes

"Another Casper surfaces to inanely call me what
she believes to be my strongest Achilles heel:
THE STALKER!
And she claims I am obsessed with her!"

I am at a huge loss to understand how one could
possibly be obsessed with a totally unknown entity!

It is during these times that I understand
what Freud meant when he
coined the term: projection."

Performing Exorcisms

"I perform exorcisms on wannabes 

 and beat them back with such a strong halitosis 

 that they melt into puddles of slime."

They Are Waiting

"I strut stuff as I walk around NYC... 

smug knowing the dopey weak minded keyboard warriors 

are sitting like vultures waiting for my return."

All Systems Ready

"I arrive at my computer ready to push 

the necessary buttons to enable weak minds. 

Call me a 'nut?' I type: activate the nut gene."

Cyber Interactive Nintendo

"The wannabes on the internet who engage me are 
constantly hoisted by their own petards in classic backfires. 
 A brass ring is not even the prize 
in a dynamic of conflict 
that exists only in their own minds."

"I activate auto comebacks...
and render their nonsense 
a form of interactive Nintendo."

Backfires

"I am Cyber Granny Kick Ass! 
All those online who engage me limp away defeated 
and they collapse back into their weak minds!!"

Unruffled Feathers

"I am a 66 year old woman who evokes very very strong reactions. 

I'm the antithesis of the invisible woman. 

The butt hurt play "gotcha"... and I laugh and pass go."

Peer Groups

"I have two Masters degrees and spend my time visiting museums. 

When the level of intelligence in a paradigm drops too low, 
I exit the scene."

Star Power

"I am self-involved and self-actualized. 

I would never create a name to reference anybody else. 

My internet experience isn't a cameo appearance."

A Small Montage

© 2010 Marjorie Levine

Consider the Source

"I am often asked why not one insult 

typed about me bothers me."

"My reply always is: 

I consider the source."

Discovering Details

"When my fans discover my address and telephone number 

they feel like I did when I drove down Mulholland Drive

and found the home of Marlon Brando."  

The Defeated

"The Don Quixotes try hard to get me to cry ouch.

But instead, I always get them to say uncle."

On a First Name Basis

"When my fans call me "marjorie" they are as excited 

as I was when I got Frankie Avalon's autograph. 

It is like Uncle Jun meeting Angie Dickinson."

The Scientific Approach

"I render all the naysayers, harassers, and killjoys invisible. 

 Nobody comes between me and my high pedestal."

Wishing and Hoping

"A viewer keeps posting crass wishes for me to die!

His daily ongoing idiotic low level activity convinces me 
he is part of 'The Walking Dead' and I have rachamnus!"

The Glutton for Punishment

viewer
"I come in here to laugh at marjorie's old hag ugly face."

marjorie

"Why not go rent a comedy on Netflix? 

Are you some sort of masochist?" 

The Gongoozler's Dance

"Some viewers try so pathetically hard to be shockingly annoying. 

They are redundant energizer bunnies with zip impact."

"I read their droll nonsense and become a gongoozler."

The Starving Artist

a sarcastic viewer

"marjorie is starved for attention."

marjorie asks a question

"Why would a person not applaud 

the endeavors in which 

I show my creative sides?"

a supportive viewer replies

"Imaginative minds understand marjorie is 

starved for outlets for her amazing talents!

That angry viewer must be a real bore who  
is fueled by transparent jealousy."

Low Level Entertainment

viewer

"marjorie, come watch this show. 

The broadcaster is doing epic prank calls..."

marjorie 

"Darling I don't enjoy viewing that 
type of juvenile low level entertainment...

I have HBO."