Two for the Price of One

"With regard to modern art, 

I am a quick study."

Internet in the Park

"Ah, the joys of a crowded city park experience."

Making Shidduchs

"I love love love how so many people have bonded on the internet 

in a common purpose to talk about me. 

I am trending in cyberspace? 

Color me popular."

An Homage to Picasso

"I am feeling quite angular and colorful.

And very dizzy.

Pass the dramamine, please."

Photo Ops

"Here I am in jail!

I was arrested for bad art which detached retinas 

and is considered visual assault. 

Call me maybe?"

Never Running On Empty

 

"I was arrested today... because these cartoons are very bad art. 

 A viewer detached a retina and I was booked for visual assault."

Toxic Views

Confucius said: 

"Those who do not develop lives of their own are doomed to 

sweat the lives of others."   

marjorie said: 

"Those who sweat the lives of others need to 

get over it in a hyperbaric chamber in rehab."

A Kook Watch

observer:

"Yow! Yikes!

Your obsessed fans have discovered your real name!"

marjorie:

"Is that like discovering the identity of the 

second shooter at the grassy knoll?"

Saturday Night Activity

a poll: 

Saturday night activity choices: 

1. go to a movie = 3 votes 

2. go to the theater = 1 vote 

3. dine out with friends = 2 votes 

4. go to a club and dance = 2 votes 

5. turn on the computer and type about marjorie all night = 28 votes 

 marjorie: 

"Wow! I won the activity poll! I am WINNING!"

Indeed

"A computer levels a playing field and allows those with whom 

you would never cross paths and who do not respect boundaries 

to try to be invasive in your world. 

Put up walls so your personal visual space is protected. 

Become a gongoozler."

The Cure: Mittens

"However, mittens do not help with unresolved angers.

Maybe a regressive visit to a playpen or a  

a high school 'do over' might work."

The Chat Matrix

"Bingo and ditto!"

Typing Fights

"The downside is carpal tunnel syndrome."

Go Know

observer: 

"Take a bow kiddo, you impact your 
naysayers like the asteroid Vesta."

marjorie: 

"And here I thought I was just a mere tachyon."

Doing an ET

he: 

"We know and will post your address and telephone number!" 

marjorie:
"Well, if I ever get lost all I have to do is log on in a 
cyber cafe and find my way directly home."

Working Capital

he: 

"You never have more than 2 viewers watching your show!"

marjorie: 

"That's 2 more than I ever expected to have! 

I consider myself to have great net asset! 

My show might qualify for an initial public offering!"

The Reviews Are In?

reviewer:
"Your cartoons are awful; 
you draw worse than a 4 year old!"

marjorie:
"Pipe down! My Aunt Sadie said these cartoons are 
quite Thurberesque and as 
imaginative as Basquiats; 

they are pieces of pop art as creative 
as those of Keith Haring."

Below Critical Mass

Q: How do you keep morons from trying to impact 

and invade your personal space? 

A: You wear the Shield of Gardol and keep back 200 feet!

Thwarting Juvenile Moronic Provocations

Observer: 
"I see you are the object of comments that are intended to be quite 
vitriolic and vituperative, and they are designed to 
vilify in great attempts to go for the jugular."

marjorie: 

"Well, the sophomoric and puerile bon mots are not exactly posted 
by a peer group I respect who are members of 
Mensa and graduated from Harvard... 
It's not exactly my intellectual demographic

so a bit of perspective renders it all invisible 
in total zip impact and irrelevance." 

the fourth wall:
"Uh, not for nothing but how pathetic are their lives if that is 
how they spend any part of their day?
I would rather watch paint dry than participate in such stupidity."

Observer:
"It is a totally abject sociopathic moron who spends time 
engaging in that activity anyway."

Spins Designed to Chagrin

To not even a blip on my radar:

"The little spin you posted that was designed to 

chagrin was noticed out of the corner of my eye. 

I hope you did that for your own self-aggrandizement 

or that it was typed in jest for some obtuse attempt to try to annoy. 

 To think otherwise, I would have to conclude 
you are totally acerebral."

Channeling Miss Marple

internet dude: "Almost everyone has an IP tracer. 

You will be revealed as... an internet cyber troll!!"

marjorie: "Yawn. Tell it to Miss Marple!"

Channeling Ronnie, the Limo Driver

"OMG, I morphed into Ronnie the Limo Driver!

I have an urge to splash on some Mambo and buy a Pace car. 

Now excuse me while I go organize a Vegas Block Party."

Art Gallery Cocktail Party

The "marjorie-cartoons" will be featured in an exhibition at a NYC art gallery in the fall. There will be a cocktail party and admission will be by invitation only. Details will be posted soon.

Hide and Seek

this from 2010:

"Yikes! Some nut in the chat room posted

my home address! I am hiding!"

Outted

this from 2010:

"Yow! My true identity has been revealed on the internet!"

"Pass the smelling salts, Jeeves!"

from the Comments Department

A comment just in: "My 7 year-old daughter draws better than you."

My reply: "I believe you. So? Shrug."

A Small Montage

© 2010 Marjorie Levine

Early Reviews Are In

The Reviews

"The cartoons are very whimsical and dazzling."

"The cartoons are quite Thurberesque."

"They are the Basquiats of the cartoon world."

"The marjorie-cartoons are trending on twitter."

"The marjorie-cartoons are a viral internet sensation."

marjorie

"Tell me something I don't know!"

Best of: Self-effacing Humor

marjorie was doing open mics when the pyramids were built.

I think by now she would get the hint.

marjorie's hair is so out dated Dolly Parton sends her hairstyle tips.

marjorie is such a hag that a casting director wanted

Betty White to play her daughter.

marjorie is so crazy that when they put her in a straight jacket

the doctors said "Crazy glue the seams."

marjorie's life is so empty that math teachers use photos of it to demonstrate the null set.

Quick Exits

"I told this guy on match dot com that I am 64,

and he exited the IM so fast

that Gebre Gebremariam is contacting him...

for speed tips."

Happy Holidays

Happy Holidays to all my fans!

Channeling a Blonde

"A guy on match dot com said he wants a babe

with a switched on smokin' hot body.

In order to fit that profile,

I had to morph into a skinny blonde."

"Call me Zelig."

Bizarre Cyber Orders

"I was served with a cyber restraining order!

Does that mean I have to sit

at my computer

wearing mittens?"

Love at First Hallucination

"I joined match dot com and after a few

E-mails with a guy, I never heard from him again."

"Could it have been my breath?"

Channeling Rocky

"You gotta be a moron to wanna be a writer."

Rap Chat

"I agAIn have sOmE pALiNoIa todAy

NobODy would exPect mY cHAt to be any OTher way

I'm a meRE fUStiaN respONdin' to a qUEry

AnD I'm goNnA sWEat fOnt uNtil I'm wEAry."

marjorie and her imaginary friend

"I went to my therapist and brought my imaginary friend.

At the end of the session, he charged me double!"

The Go-Go Look

"Excuse me?

My teased and ratted beehive hairdo does NOT

contain spiders and maggots. What flapdoodle."