The Reaction to "Hilarious"

"If a comment is posted that is hilarious,

copious group laughter will abound and

soda will auto-pour out of the noses of the internet audience.

It's a sort of de rigueur response if you are a member of

the club of snarkmeisters."

"Some other auto-replies are:

win, fail, amazing and...

filled with so many parts of awesome."

"Batshit" crazy?

"Yikes!

On Twitter, I was called 'batshit!'

Ouch!

Heh! Heh! Batshit?

Bite me, bitches!

Now a poem, just for my fans who sweat me:

Roses are red and violets are blue,

I am 'batshit?'

Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo!

There is NO PART of 'batshit'

that I won't own and make a perfect fit!

I am delighted and happy to stand with other nuts

And all the sarcastic and angry fabisinas can kiss our fat butts!"

Shades of Gray

"I am so tired of online analysts.

They throw around the word 'crazy' a lot.

And what's wrong with 'crazy?'

All the greatest films and books are about crazy people!

These yentas should get jobs administering

cyber Thematic Apperception Tests."

Chat Imitates Museum Visits

® WGAE
© Marjorie Levine 2010

Sore Loser

"I have entered 112 online writing contests, and I never win!

My last entry was phenomenal, and I still did not win.

The judges must hate me.

I cannot imagine why.

Everybody else thinks I am charming, filled with humor, and

I have a marvelous sense of joie de vivre.

And my entries are always quite good...

I am sad today."

A Solution

This is my perfect solution for comments designed to chagrin.

Wicked Impersonations

Wow!

There's another "Marjorie" on the 'net

posting comments on the same blogs!

The internet sure attracts kooks who

sweat me and love to gas my head!

Personality DNA in Cartoons

"I got everything I needed to know about you from your cartoons."

"Yikes!

Did you learn about Charles M. Schulz from "Peanuts," too?

Maybe you learned about Walt Kelly from reading "Pogo?"

Or about John Wagner from "Maxine?"

What a kook!"

A Kathy Griffin morph

"OMG, I morphed into the amazing Kathy Griffin

and I can hear her now:

I am on the 'marjorie' blog? D list!!"

An Homage to Harper

"Let's you and me get acquainted. Go sit down in that chair.

Have a bon bon. Just remember, I'm the boss here.

And keep your chat files active. You'll be back."

Death Wishes

"marjorie, you are sad and crazy and more than a little scary.

But, don't worry guys. She will eventually either move on or die."

"Yow, and oh my! I have to die to stop impacting

your precious online chat experience?"